As discovered through Soul Expansion, in order to live your life in the present, you will need to learn to become assertive. You have to learn to advocate for yourself and your needs and wants, and recognize the needs and wants of others. This is very different from being aggressive or overly-demanding; both of those deal with ego. Assertiveness deals with self-love, and advocating for yourself in a healthy, productive, and proactive manner.
People who have difficulty being assertive nearly always have problems expressing their own unique views and feelings, feeling fearful that they will upset others. This is a self-esteem and self-worth problem, not an assertiveness problem as one might think. Our assertiveness also has an effect on how each of us deals with stress. If you healthfully manage your stress, you’re very likely also assertive in a relaxed and healthy way.
How you were raised also plays into how assertive you are. If you were raised believing that you should always be nice and go along with what others say, that’s probably exactly what you’ll do as an adult (people pleasing). If you dealt with abandonment as a child, you may think you can’t be assertive, or the loved ones in your life will get angry and leave. The roles we are given in childhood run very deep and becoming aware of the belief systems you were raised goes a long way towards enabling you to change them.
When you are able to assert yourself, you will are more self-confident. You’ll are more capable to reach the challenges in any given situation and you’ll be far more able to care for yourself adequately without relying on others.
Being able to ask for what you need simply feels joyful. You may not always get what you’ve asked for, but there is power in being able to ask for it. It says a lot about you - that you’re worthwhile and have value.
Assertiveness will help you live a more present life, as your needs and wants are met either because you have asked for them to be met, or you’ve provided them yourself. It’s difficult to attempt to live in the past or the future when there is so much power in the here-and-now!
If you’re not quite as assertive as you know you need to be, don’t fret! This is a skill that can be learned through Soul Expansion, and it takes practice for it to seem comfortable. But if you continue to practice, and continue to advocate for yourself, you’ll hone this skill in no time.
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